How Counsellors Can Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action Again

Have you ever sat down to do something you really care about? You know, maybe write a blog post or plan something new, or put yourself out there in some way and then you just felt, you know, just really stuck, not distracted, really, you know, definitely not lazy, but just kind of completely tangled up in your own thoughts.

So you're thinking about it all the time, but the more you try and figure it out. The heavier it feels. So today we are gonna be talking about that kind of overthinking, the quiet kind that looks like planning, and it looks like preparation, but it actually keeps you from moving at all. And if that sounds familiar, there's a chance that this is going to really resonate with you.

So, let's go.

Hi, and welcome to the Grow Your Private Practice Show. I'm Jane Travis and I'm here to help you to get found by more of the right clients with simple, doable marketing, with a special focus on blogging. Each week I'll share practical tips to help you to grow your practice with clarity and confidence.

So let's dive in.

So hello, hello, hello and welcome back and if this is your first time here, I’m really glad to have you on board. I hope you find this useful because today we're gonna talk about something that affects a lot of thoughtful, caring people, and that is overthinking. And when I'm talking about overthinking, I'm not thinking about that quirky, oh, I'm such a perfectionist way, but I'm talking about that heavy and more paralyzing way that makes us question ourselves and hold back and put things off for literally weeks or even months.

So this isn't just about blogging. This is about the kind of fear that hides underneath all of that thinking, the fear of getting it wrong, the fear of being seen, and of what might happen if we actually put ourselves out there. And I'm going to share about a time when I got totally caught up in this myself and what helped me to move through.

So, let me share my story. So a couple of months ago, I launched a new blogging program. I called it the Framework First Blogging Method, which sounded official, but didn't really explain what it was or who it was for. So after a couple of months of running it, I decided to just quickly rework the name. And two weeks later, I still hadn't done it.

I was still feeling really stuck, and in that time, I hadn't just sat around. Oh no, I'd asked my friends more than once. I'd brainstormed it with ChatGPT until I gave myself a headache. I had a short list of 22 names and got weirdly excited about. Just blog and do it, which I thought was funny, but I don't think it was quite right.

I changed my mind a dozen times and I kind of told myself I was being strategic because I wanted to make sure that this was absolutely right. Now, if you'd have seen me, you might have thought that I was working really hard on my business, but the truth is, I wasn't, you know, I was stuck in what looked like productive work, but I was actually just overthinking with a spreadsheet.

Because overthinking doesn't always feel like fear. Sometimes it feels like we are being responsible and it shows up as planning, or it might show up as researching or adjusting things and improving things and starting over and wanting to get things really, really right before we begin. But underneath that, it's very often fear, you know, a fear of saying or doing the wrong thing.

A fear of just getting the whole thing wrong, a fear of being misunderstood, or a fear of being ignored, or a fear of doing something imperfect in a world that often demands polished perfection. And when you care deeply about what you do, like you do, and when you care about who it is that you serve, that fear kind of makes total sense, but it can also really keep you stuck.

And it just kind of stops being funny after a while. So at first it might feel a little bit quirky or endearing, you know, like, oh, I, I just like to plan. But after a while, it really does stop being funny because you've been thinking about the thing. For so long, it starts to feel impossible to actually start, you feel absolutely paralyzed.

You say things like, God, why can't I just do this? Other people seem to manage what the hell is wrong with me? Or even maybe I'm just not cut out for this, and that's just not true. But that stuckness can start to really chip away at your confidence until not doing the thing starts to feel far safer than trying.

And remember the Annais Nin quote, I think I said that right? The famous quote of hers, which was, and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Maybe it's about learning how you can take that step. So what can you do when you feel this happening? Well, the first thing that I would say is to just simply notice it, but notice it from a very kind point of view. You don't get very far in this world. By beating yourself up, kicking yourself is not gonna help anything. So just look at it from a place of curiosity and say.

Oh, that's interesting. It looks like I'm really circling this. I'm preparing, but not doing, and just doing that brings that awareness and that can shift the energy quite a lot. And then you can try asking yourself a few soft questions like what would be the tiniest version of this I can actually do today?

Or if this didn't need to be perfect. What would I say or what would I write, or what's just one sentence that I feel okay about and then start there. Not with a full blog. Not with a full rebrand. Not rewriting your whole website or mapping out six months worth of content. Just do one small thing. You know, maybe you just open a document and you jot down a few lines, or maybe you just say something out loud. Just to hear what it feels like or maybe you just write that messy first draft with no intention of sending it.

And if that feels like too much still, here's the thing that I do all the time. Get your phone out and set a timer for 10 minutes and promise yourself that you can stop when it goes off. Another thing that you could try is just try saying out loud, this is scary because it matters, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

That would actually make a really good, what do you call it, wallpaper for your phone. So every time you open your phone, you'll see something that says, this is scary because it matters. And I'm doing it anyway. Because overthinking thrives in silence and isolation. But the moment you take even a small step, it starts to loosen. Its grip. Now the goal isn't to feel confident. The goal is to be kind. Be kind to your brain, be kind to the fear that you have, be kind to the voice that you have, and just begin anyway. So just to recap what we've talked about today, we've looked at how overthinking can show up not as procrastination, but as preparation and research.

And we've talked about how easy that it is to confuse planning with progress and how that spiral of indecision can quietly chip away at your confidence. And I also shared just some very gentle. Do doable ways to just get started. Again, one small sentence and one small step at a time. And if this episode felt a little bit too familiar, if you are stuck in your head and second guessing everything, just please know that you are not the only one and you're not doing anything wrong.

This kind of stuckness is exactly what led me to create, Grow Your Blog. Now Grow Your Blog is a low cost, gentle monthly membership to help counsellors and coaches to write without the overwhelm. So each month you are gonna get a clear framework to follow, which is a step-by-step framework. That means you'll never get stuck and you'll always be inspired. And this is going to be a focused topic, so you are never staring at a blank screen and wondering what you're going to write about. And it is written for counsellors, and this will work for you whether you've got a niche or whether you don't have a niche, it'll still work for you. And if a thousand people were to use this, each different blog post would sound different. So it's not a whole load of blogs are gonna sound the same.

You'll also get blog headline prompts and writing tips. You'll get a sample post so you can see what it would look like done, and I also provide a short video walking you through the whole thing, and another short video on how to use ChatGPT without using your voice. And Claire, one of our members, said to me, the framework has really helped me shift my approach. I'm now writing in a way which is more like my clients and so much more relatable. It is just nine pounds a month. There's no contracts, there's no pressure. So if that sounds like what you need, there's a link in the show notes and I'd love to welcome you in. And if you are not ready yet, that's okay too.

You can still take just one small step today because that's how it all starts. So look, thank you so much for listening to the Grow Your Private Practice Show. If you've enjoyed today's episode, make sure you hit follow so you don't miss the next one, and you'll always have a little bit of encouragement waiting for you in your podcast feed. I hope you have a fantastic rest of the day, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Bye-bye.