The Empathy Exercise: How to Read your Dream Clients Mind

Hi, and welcome back and if it's your first time here, It's great to have you on board. I hope you're okay. I hope you're having a good day so far. so welcome to this. This is the second of a three-part miniseries that's all about attracting your dream clients. Now, the first part we explored the often forgotten part of the jigsaw, and that is you, you know, who are you, what do you stand for?

What are your interests? What are your passions? If you haven't listened, hop on over and take a listen. Don't worry, I'll wait for you. And if you did already catch that, I hope it's helped you to understand how important knowing yourself is when it comes to running a business. Because I really love the saying, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And it's so true.

You know, when you love what you do works less of a drudgery. And it's more of a paid hobby Now, I dunno if you heard that. That's my dog. My dog always starts barking the minute I start recording. I have to pause this and let her out. Just one second.

She's such a naughty girl that Doug, you know, I've noticed what happens is when I do my microphone test, no matter what she's doing, she could be absolutely flat out, fast asleep, snoring. I do the microphone test and she just wakes up and comes through and wants lots of attention. So, so I'm onto it. I'll know what to do next time.

So where was a right. So if you love what you do, then your work becomes more like a paid hobby. I mean, how cool is that? You know? So knowing and understanding yourself is the first thing to do. So look, please don't skip this part because. Because it's really vital, you know? So what you did in part one was start to connect with yourself, you know, and a part of that was recognizing who it is that you love working with and the issues that you feel passionately about.

And when you know that, well, you know, that's what having a niche is. You know, so often I see people getting really worried about niching. You know, the word niche can make people panic and come out in high. It's like, oh my God, if I. Niche. Does that mean it's gonna, I'm gonna be turning people away, or I don't know enough about my, the subject I'm interested in to call myself an expert?

Well, hey, guess what? You don't have to call yourself an expert. Or you might think to yourself, oh God, I don't wanna timer down myself down to one subject. You know, what if it all gets a little bitsy? You know, but, but here's the thing. You working with the people and the issues that you feel passionate about, Is really good for you.

You know, you'll get such a lot from that work because you're gonna. Feel, you know you're really going to feel fulfilled in the work that you do. Also, something that you might not have considered is you'll be able to really focus your C P D in order to dive deeply into those subjects and increase your skills and knowledge.

So again, it means that you're going to enjoy your work and your clients are gonna get a better service from you. So their experience of therapy is likely to be a lot more positive. And if they have a positive experience of therapy, then they're gonna tell their friends and more people will access therapy.

And so more people are gonna get the help that they need. We all have more clients. It's a win-win situation. Remember the saying, a rising tide lifts all boats, so yeah, we all win. How cool is that? It's really good. So when you know who you want to work with, your marketing becomes a such a lot easier. You know what you write on your website becomes a powerful tool.

That attracts those people to you. You know, your directory entry will talk directly to your dream clients. You know, your Google business profile previously Google My Business, it's now Google Business, that's gonna be able to talk directly to these people, and you can produce blogs that specifically help them and your social media will be more targeted and therefore more effective.

So all your marketing is therefore focused and targeted towards both helping the people that are struggling with these issues, but also attracting them to become your clients. So you're probably thinking, okay, Jane, how exactly do I do that? Well, today I'm gonna be talking about something that I devised called the Empathy Exercise.

So, you know, let me introduce this to you cuz this is your secret weapon to, you know, reading your dream client's minds. Okay? This is a deceptively simple method that I devised to help you to understand your potential clients in order to. Or to help to form that connection, you know, because you could have the best, most beautiful website, you could have the most gorgeous branding and a stunningly creative blog.

You know, you could be creating the most stunning blogs in the world. But here's the thing, if they don't resonate with your ideal clients, then they are not gonna help to grow you a su a successful practice. You know, you have to connect with people, use the language that they do, address the problems that they have, and that's how you are gonna stand out.

And that's when they're going to notice you and subsequently choose you as the counselor that they go to. And by using what comes up in this exercise, you are going to have powerful insights about. What's going on in their minds? What's going on in their lives? What are their needs? What are their troubles?

What are their problems? But not only that, what is it that they want from therapy? What is it that they want therapy to achieve for them? And what are their hopes and their dreams? , and this is important because, you know, think back to your own experience of therapy. You want to talk with someone that you feel connection with, someone who under understands what's happening for you. And the first step is forming that all important therapeutic relationship. So letting your clients know that you understand them and what they're going through helps you to connect with them so, you know.

Letting your clients know that you understand them and you understand what they're going through helps you to connect with them, and you can do that through. Helpful in interesting blog posts, helpful in interesting social media posts that really resonate with them, and by addressing these issues, you're gonna increase the know, like, and trust factor. And this is important because the know, like, and trust factor is about the fact that people will buy from or use the services of people that they know, like, and trust. So they're likely to follow you, connect with you, and ultimately, like I say, you'll be the obvious choice when they're ready to get some therapy.

So the empathy exercise, how do you do this? So it's dead easy, I promise you. The first thing you need to do is just find some way you can concentrate, because you're gonna do a little bit of brainstorming, so you need to do a little bit of writing. So grab yourself pen and some paper, or if you prefer typing, obviously you can type, but I find writing it out is, is more easy for this sort of thing.

So you're gonna be brainstorming, and this is the important bit. You are not going to write an essay. This is not about writing a full blown essay. This is just about jotting down some bullet points and some thoughts that you have as you do it. So you don't want to be stopping thinking about what you are thinking about to write.

You need to just literally scribble down the thoughts and ideas you have. Because what you're gonna do is get into the head of this person. So I want you to write in the first person as though you are them. So you're gonna be writing, I feel I do. You know, so it's all like, this is happening to me. So, So what I'd like you to do to do this is to set a timer for just five minutes.

Okay? So you can use your phone for this set a five minute timer, and when the timer goes off, stop. So again, this isn't something that's going to take you a long, long, long time. This is something that you can do on lots of occasions, in lots of different ways, in just a very short amount of time. So the next thing you're going to do is choose someone.

That would fall within your niche. So this could be someone that you've worked with that falls within your niche, or it could be someone that's had a really good experience of counseling with you and fully engaged in the process. So it could be someone, we all have those like dream clients where they've engaged in the process and then they've got what they've needed from it and left feeling loads better.

So think of somebody like that. But it doesn't have to be real life clients. So if you are new to therapy or if you are just training, don't worry. You could think about a friend who might have the sorts of struggles and issues that people in your niche have. Could be a character from a t, from TV, or a film.

So maybe you've got a so soap character that might fit in as somebody who would be, you know, struggling with these sorts of things. And probably the best one is if you've struggled with these issues yourself. Then the best one is you, you know, complete this exercise as yourself because that's where you're gonna get the best input.

Cuz nobody, you are gonna have such a great level of input, you know, it's gonna be so useful. So, So in this exercise, all you're going to do is you're gonna put yourself in your client's shoes. You're gonna imagine being them for a day. So you're gonna run through a day in their life. So for example, when they wake up, how do they feel?

Maybe they're still feeling tired because they've not slept. But maybe th they feel tired because they've had nightmares. May, you know, think about what's happening around the house. You know, do the wake up in the house is very quiet or is it really chaotic? Is there lots of kids running around run through their morning routine?

Do they get chance to sit down and have a coffee? And, you know, I was gonna know, I was gonna say read the paper, but nobody reads the paper anymore. So do they sit down and have breakfast and you know, take their time. Or is their morning stressful? Are they desperately trying to get the, you know, hustle their kids out of the door and how are they feeling?

Are they looking forward to their day or are they dreading it? You know, what's going on for them? So, run through the whole of the day to just try to get a feel for this person, you know, what do they do during the day? How do they feel? What do they wish was different? So, like I say, go right through to bedtime.

How do they feel before they settle down for sleep? Are they alone in bed or do they have a partner? do they want to, do they cuddle? Do they want to have sex? Do they initiate sex and their partner turns them down? Does their partner initiate sex and they don't want to do it? If they don't want to have sex, do they do it anyway?

Cuz they feel they have. To, or does this cause an argument? So, you know, think about how that day sort of pans out. How are they feeling now? The really important thing about this to remember is this is not an exact science. You know, you are not gonna be able, it's doubtful that you'll be able to go through the whole day and think of everything that they sort of go through.

So do what you can, you know? Jot down as many things as you can, and you can always come back to it. Remember, this is just five minutes. This is just looking at things that you know from the top of your head, okay? Now remember, you cannot get this wrong. I mean, literally, you can't get this wrong. So just relax and just see how you get on.

So you can do variations of this as well. So you don't have to do the whole day. What you can do is you can have a look at different situations. Okay, so let me demonstrate. So you might have something like, let me think. Something like going for lunch with a friend. Okay, so think of this person has been, is gonna go for lunch with a friend, go through the whole process of what's happening for them.

So how do they feel? Do they feel excited because they're going for a meal with their friend? Do they feel anxious? Do they feel worried? Do they feel nervous? What do they feel nervous about? How do they feel about the journey there? You know, do they feel comfortable traveling there? Are they worried about parking their car?

think about actually meeting their friend. Do they have to say, walk into the cafe or the pub? How do they feel about that? Does that make them feel really anxious? Think about the situation, what do they talk about? You know, do they, you know, are they both talking equally or do they find that all the talking is about their friend?

You know, are they just thankful to have somebody to talk with? Or maybe they keep their mask firmly on and just pretend that they're fine and everything's okay in their life, and you know, they're not totally honest with what's going on. Why is that? Are they worried that they're gonna be a burden? Are they worried that they're going to get judged?

You know, really see if you can think about, you know, what's going on. And you can take it a step further. You can think, well, what do they eat? You know, do they look at, what, do they take a cue from their friends? So do they look at what their friend's eating? So for example, if their friend's eating something and in, in sort of quote marks here, healthy.

So if somebody chooses something, like that's a bit. Maybe Salady, I don't know. You know what I mean? Does your client sort of follow suit and choose something similar, or do they just choose what they want to eat? You know, so if, if their friend is eating something like fish and chips, what would they eat then?

Would they have something that's going to be, you know, a heavy meal like that? Or would they choose what they just want? Because they just choose what you know? They're happy to choose what they want off their own back. And the next step is what happens with the bill. Okay? Now, if you are a Father Ted fan, Then you are gonna know what I'm thinking here, because in my mind's eye, I've got that scene with Mrs. Doyle when she's gone out for a cup of tea with a friend and they end up coming to blows about who's gonna pay the bill.

Cuz one's going, no, I'll pay and the other one's going, no, I'll pay. So that's just now, if you don't know what I mean, what I'm gonna do is. I also write a blog that goes with this podcast. So on the blog I'm gonna see if I can find a clip to share that with you because it just makes me laugh. So have a think about your client.

What happens when it comes to the bill? Do they insist on paying? How do they feel if the other person pays? Do they feel really, really awkward or do they just split the bill? You know, just think about it. So you know, just by, you can, you don't have to use the whole day to do the empathy exercise. It's always a great thing to get started, but you can also look at different things.

So you might look at what happens if they have a night in on their own, or what happens if they visit family. Or what happens if they go to when they go to the supermarket? You know, all of those different things means that you'll get a real insight into that person. And this is gonna be important because of course the next step, what we're gonna be talking about in the next podcast, is what you do with this information.

So don't worry too much about that right now. Just do this exercise, do it, you know, do it once, do it several times and just see what happens for you. Now, just a little and just a little thing I want to talk about here. What happens if you don't want to have a niche? What happens if you don't want to have a particular type of issue that you prefer working with?

Well, there's a saying in marketing that if you try and attract everyone, you attract no one. And this is so true, and especially now, you know, there's so many therapists around, there's just hundreds. You only have to do a little search on a, on a, on a directory for your area, and you'll see. There are so many therapists around and it's, it's a good thing.

You know, you might think, oh my God, I can never get found amongst all these people. Well, it's really a good thing because it means counseling is getting more and more commonplace, more and more popular, more and more just a part of what people do in their lives. But what happens is now that there are so many people, so many therapists around clients are getting really savvy and clients will start searching for the right therapist to suit their needs.

So they're now looking, it's like if you were going to go to the doctor with a specific thing, you'd sooner go to a specialist, they'll just go to the GP because the specialist has. An in-depth knowledge and clients now want to go to someone who's going to be the right therapist to suit their needs, and it stands to reason.

If you have the choice of working with a generalist or someone who completely understands you and your issues and has that extra training, has that extra experience, then there's no question who's going to be chosen. So if you don't know who you want to work with and you don't to understand them, then you run the risk of a scatter gun approach with your marketing, and that can leave people confused.

And a confused mind always says no. I'm, I'm full of sayings today, aren't I? Oh dear. It makes me smile. Anyway, but not only that, you'll also have a scatter good approach with your C P D and your time and your money is too precious for that. You know, you don't want to be wasting time. You don't want to be wasting money on c P D. That's not gonna really help you to grow your practice and to to help your clients.

Of course. That's really what it's about. So the next step is to attract these people, these dream clients of yours, using the information that you've gleaned from the empathy exercise. And this is so that you can write your website, write your directory entries, write your social media posts, your blog posts that will speak directly to these people so that they're going to see and understand that you understand them.

And they're gonna be able to imagine sharing their story with you. They're gonna be able to imagine sharing their story with you. And that's what I'm gonna be talking about in part three. So you know, I'll be sharing how to use this information to attract clients. So, as you know, inspiration without action is merely entertainment. So your action step for this week is to take yourself off somewhere.

Set a timer for five minutes and just get stuck in and have a go at the empathy exercise. And remember, you can't get this wrong, you know? So just give it a go and get stuck in. So, yeah, that's it for this week. Thank you so much for tuning into the Grow Your Private Practice Show. Now, if you are. A therapist looking to take your practice to the next level, consider joining the membership community. You know, the grow your private membership community is where you have access to exclusive courses, training workshops, guest expert masterminds, as well as resources, tools, and importantly support from fellow therapists as well.

So hop on over to my website, which is, Grow your private practice.co.uk and see what's available for you and together let's grow your private practice and achieve your goals. So I look forward to speaking to you next time. Have a great week. Take care and goodbye.